Not long ago I read a study that suggested that contempt was the number one cause of break ups and divorce. It seemed like a pretty sound study.
Contempt is defined as “the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.” Kind of interesting, contempt is not so much about your actions, but rather, your feelings. Most spouses can read your feelings, your motivation, your intent. You may go through all the right motions, but if your heart is feeling contemptuous, often that can be felt in a relationship, no matter how well you disguise it.
Over time it starts to build up until you finally reach the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Contempt kills relationships.
I think a lot of people don’t recognize contempt for what it is. I’ve watched men withdraw or walk away because they are the one who…
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Hawks aren’t social animals like dogs or horses; they understand neither coercion nor punishment. The only way to tame them is through positive reinforcement with gifts of food. You want the hawk to eat the food you hold – it’s the first step in reclaiming her that will end with you being hunting partners. But the space between the fear and the food is a vast, vast gulf, and you have to cross it together. I thought, once, that you did it by being infinitely patient. But no: it is that you must become invisible. You’re trying to get her to look at the steak, not at you, because you know – though you haven’t looked – that her eyes are fixed in horror at your profile. All you can hear is the wet click, click, click of her blinking.
To cross this space between fear and food you need…
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Everything is here! Thank you, Bob!
This magical realm we call “the world”
is a wild wonder beyond human reckoning!
The mere appearance of anything at all
is a perpetual mystery of pure awe
and relentless astonishment!
These ever-shifting props that provide
the sense of time and change are nothing
but children’s toys the Great One
juggles like batons in the air!
How thrilling to suddenly realize
we ourselves are This!
The synchronous majesty
of our infinitely expansive being
is the perfect body of the Beautiful One,
the One who is living us now, dreaming
us now as the very miracle we Are.
Any rain-splashed leaf is nothing
but another moistened kiss of Infinity.
Every wandering breeze rustling trees —
the amorous breath of our own Divinity.
Every sigh, every breath, every beat of heart
is an orchestrated choir of regal rapture.
Every molecule of light amazes itself
at its own inexplicable appearance.
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Is kindness just an old-fashioned value celebrated in kindergarten and then soon forgotten as one grows older and more ambitious — or is there more to it?
As increasing numbers of people look to live a purpose-driven life, research is beginning to reveal the tremendous rewards that come with living kindly. What follows are some of the most compelling recent studies on the topic of kindness, and the ramifications they hold for ourselves and our world.
“The biggest news is that we’re able to change something physical about people’s health by increasing their daily diet of positive emotion, and that helps us get at a long-standing mystery of how our emotional and social experience affects our physical health,” says researcher and author Barbara Fredrickson.
The change only occurred in practitioners who became happier and felt more socially connected; for those who…
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Watch this classic short video explaining consumerism, then take a nice pause, and let go.
This is the season when consumption skyrockets. The average American spends over $800 on seasonal gifts, even though a national survey (by Center for a new American Dream) indicates that over 70% of Americans would welcome less emphasis on gift giving and spending.
Need proof that people don’t need more “stuff”? The Environmental Protection Agency, estimates that from Thanksgiving to New Year’s household waste increases by more than 25%. That’s an additional million tons of unneeded gifts, packaging and shopping bags – a week!
It’s very fitting, then, that I share one of my favorite visually appealing explanations of the issues surrounding consumerism – The Story of Stuff – which has now rightly turned into a movement. Check out the video above, and consider re-evaluating how and what you give this season. Better yet, consider being more intentional with the way you interact with “stuff” all the time.
Convinced, but unsure how to get through the…
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